British English, first-person, and no one to sign it off. Some reviews are proper arguments; some are mid-film commentary I never tidied up. Every one gets a tl;dr and a score out of 100 from SnarkAI, my deliberately snarky robot. Merlin the Bernedoodle would give a buffering wheel full marks.
Snarkflix is just me, writing about films I've actually watched. No house style, no outrage on a schedule: some reviews are proper arguments, some are closer to running commentary I didn't tidy up.
Every review comes with a tl;dr and a score out of 100. Both come from SnarkAI, a deliberately snarky robot that reads my review and marks it; the header images are AI-generated from my scene descriptions. Merlin, the Bernedoodle, thinks every film is a triumph.
For the record: 1,495 films (119 days of runtime) and 25,321 episodes logged on Trakt. Slightly worrying, but it does earn me the right to be picky about pacing. 594 action, 172 horror, 178 superhero, 55 musicals and one deeply questionable Donghua; my history reads like someone who can't pick a lane, and I'm fine with that.
Come for a fresh take on a blockbuster or a tangent-heavy read on something odd.
Every review, one plain link each, for anyone who'd rather skim than scroll.